Thursday, February 26, 2009

For every beginning...

...there is an end. I know some of ya'll never thought the day would come. Others couldn't wait for it to come soon enough. And since we're in the final tosses and turns of it all, I guess for me, it is time to share it with the world.

The hardest post I ever, EVER made at Scrap in Style TV was to my Fgirls and I said this (kinda the condensed condensed as I get anyhow):

My favorite group is Boys II Men...and fittingly enough, on tele the other day, I saw a really REALLY old video. End of the Road. I loved the whole CD that song came on. Cried my eyes out because I had just broken up with a guy I never really dated to begin with. BUT that was not the story I was going to tell.

The end has come for me.

I love you all passionately.

I've never been the get it done girl.

There are a million excuses for why not - getting married, working my fingers to the nubby bloody bone just to get a cookie (literally...I have GS cookies iffen you need them!), packing up my scrap room, barely coming to grips with sharing my computer with "that dude who is my better half...until he tries to get on the one computer left standing in our very bare place", packing said whole place up and moving on up to the Eastside burbs but not until we sell the current place, settling lawsuits, etc. None of it more important than anything anyone else is dealing with, yet I kept hanging on.


So now we've come to the end of the road. No...try it again. Sing it like the Boys. the end. of. the road. Still I can't let go. It's unnatural. You belong to me. I belong to you.

And saying goodbye (evidently) is harder than hell for me.

To that, I let JJ, KA and Diane know. And JJ graciously allowed me to postpone the "final" day until March 1. Mostly because she was pretty sure I'd post stuff from the last collection I got (perpetually behind...they are coming) but honestly because I did not want to be part of any kind of drama whatsoever.

Some of my bestest scrap friends in the world have left in ways that have totally saddened me. And I knew I'd be plenty sad enough under any kind of regular goodbye to throw anything else on top of that.

All said...after March 1, I cannot promise I'll still be around [at SiStv] so I won't go there. Doesn't mean I won't stalk your blogs or still want to email you congrats when you make a dream team or do anything whatsoever that you're passionate about. Doesn't mean that because I DON'T reach out that I'm not thinking of you. Just means that I don't have my priorities straight and hawking GS cookies on the corner superseded emailing you. Or playing Scarab Solitaire on Facebook is an easy enough escape from facing the fact that I should be doing something far more productive (like, connecting with real people), but I'm going to procrastinate on that too.

All in all, no rergets, lots of self reflected learning about commitments and lots of full on appreciation for the better person you all have made me in your each and special ways.

Now. If anyone knows anyone looking to buy a fabulous house in the hood (up and coming hood though...) in Seattle, please please PLEASE be in touch. We walked a model in suburbia yesterday that had a built in scrap room. If I had that, and some subsidies from the feds to pay my mortgage, I'd totally quit my job, learn how to meet deadlines and beg JJ and LG to take me back.

Enough already.Love you all. T-minus 6 [now 3] more days until my life will never be the same.

Keep it real. And tame your addiction to Facebook my friends.

No comments: